Resist the Temptation to always correct others!

We all make mistakes. No one is above making errors and no one knows everything. It can be very comforting when these things are brought to our attention by friends, colleagues or family members; we thus endeavour to make amends. Just as much as we love to make amends when corrected, we also feel obligated to correct other people when they too make mistakes. The act of correcting others when they make mistakes can be intuitive and spontaneous; sometimes we don’t give it much thought before doing it. For others, it can be a force of habit. There are people who relish the opportunity to correct others and they actively scrutinize what other people do in order to point out their mistakes. Now, there is a truism in the saying, ‘Too much of anything is bad.’ Many of us want genuine correction when we make mistakes, but no one wants to be admonished at all times. It’s very frustrating when all you hear are the things you did wrong. We already know that we make mistakes as humans but to have someone else rob it on our face at every given opportunity can be very annoying and that can make one feel less human. Thus, even when we are dead right, sometimes it’s courteous and humane to resist the temptation of correcting other people. Let me illustrate this point with the following real life examples:

You are not fluent in English and you are going out it with someone who speaks the language eloquently. How will you feel if that individual corrects every grammatical error you make? ‘Sorry, it’s not ‘is,’ ‘was’ is more appropriate.’ ‘Why do you keep using ‘I shall’ instead of ‘I will’? It’s irritating. You are out on a date and you are afraid to speak because your date has taken it upon him/her to be your English teacher. Instead of your discussions to be an English class, it would be an act of love if we occasionally resist the temptation to correct the other person. Remember, there is the time and place for everything.

You have a colleague at work who always call attention to only the things you did wrong. He/she does not commend you for the things you did right. While it helps to point out what the other person did wrong, especially when the person is new on the job, there are insignificant errors that you can overlooked. When you overlook some inconsequential mistakes, you give yourself the latitude to come in when there’s a serious mistake or when a pattern of mistakes comes to the fore. It also helps to commend other colleagues for doing a good job; so that on the day they do badly, calling their attention to it would be received warmly.

In our interactions on Facebook, Twitter, and the like, sometimes we notice when people make mistakes. You can lovingly call their attention to it publicly or better still privately. But don’t make it a habit. It’s unkind to draw the attention of others to every mistake they make. Even when you are dead right, let some comments or contributions pass on as innocent mistakes or personal opinions. It’s doesn’t help online friendship and interactions if other people see you as Mr./Mrs./Miss Know-it-all. No one knows it all and no one is above mistakes. How often we find we find out that something we had passionately argued about before was wrong in light of new information!

Resisting the impulse to always be Mr. Right is a virtue. There are times when speech is silver and silence is golden. Letting go of some things can be a course of wisdom. Being patient and holding back on some occasions can make it easier for us to think it through and make more research or inquiry to ascertain the facts. Knowledge is not static; it’s dynamic. Some of the things we knew before have changed or evolved. Taking the time to check and crosscheck facts in light of new information can help us make more accurate and appropriate inputs into whatever endeavour we are engaged in. When we are in a hurry to correct others, we might end up looking foolish if we turn out to be on the wrong. You may look smart when you quickly correct others, but you garner more respect and approval when you patiently and responsibly call attention to the errors of others. Remember, a wise man is quick in hearing but slow in speaking. Even when you are right, it’s an act of love to overlook some inconsequential errors! It’s also an exercise in self-control when we resist the temptation to always correct others. A word to the wise: a word of genuine praise is more powerful than a thousand words of needless criticism.