Sunday 22 September 2013

Jokes: ‘ekoloma demba’ ‘malo nogede’, Timaya, na witch level?


Back in the days, I fell in love with Timaya’s music. Loved it, men! Inspirational Dem Mama soldier. Nowaways, Timaya’s music has taken a different turn. What is ‘malo nogede,’ ‘ekoloma demba’?
I decided to go online to find out what those words mean. I entered Google and I typed, ‘What’s the meaning of ‘ekoloma demba’, ‘malo nogede’?
Google Pidgin English replied:
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Hmmm…. My friend, such words do not exist in our current lexicography.
Abi, you don smoke igbo (Indian Hemp)?
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My reply: abeg, nor be quarrel! Lexi… gini? That na Pidgin English? (Mschew.........)
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Na joke ooooooooo!

Sunday 11 August 2013

Joke – Acute changes in physique!


There was this guy whose physique changes rapidly with the amount of money he has. If he gets much money today, by tomorrow he will grow noticeably fat. If he loses that money in the morning, by evening time, he’s lost all the weight. One day, he got a call that a huge amount of money was deposited in his account. As he was walking to a bank ATM Machine, this guy started adding weight along the way. When he got to the ATM, there was a queue. He waited for a while, adding more weight. When it got to his turn, to his surprise, there was no money in his account. Do you know what happened? This guy started shedding weight immediately. He kept checking and checking again. When he finally confirmed that there was no money in his account, this guy…….
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Disappeared in thin air to the great surprise of those waiting on the line!

#ASUUstrike


I went to the bank the other day and I saw many old pensioners on a long queue cursing and arguing. I thought about the pains these pensioners go through and I remember the many pension scams I read about. It made me wonder: Why do government officials find it easy to mess up pensioners and pension funds? The answer: They can’t go on strike. #ASUUstrike
Some say that going on strike is not the solution to problems and that there are other ways to resolve issues. Dialogue they say should be the only way. Well, let me ask, please, when was the last time the government made any changes in worker’s welfare without being been edged on by a strike? Give me one example. Check those sections of the government where people can’t go on strike; they suffer most: pensioners. Maybe #strikologue is better: dialoguing while on strike. #ASUUstrike
Some people oppose strike actions, but they don’t reject the dividends of those strikes. When doctors went on strike for CONMESS, some elders in the medical profession were opposed to the strike. But when the strike yielded increased pay, they did not reject the pay. ‘Who nor like better thing?’ #ASUUstrike

Friday 12 July 2013

What’s on my mind? (Pidgin English included)

What’s on my mind?
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It’s written:
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"Let there be an encountering by a man of a bear bereaved of its cubs rather than anyone stupid in his foolishness." - Prov. 17:12
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Just a thought on my mind! Right now, instead of watching or listening to Naija news, I am in search of a mourning bear to hug because there is so much stupid foolishness in the news these days….. “Bear! Bear! Bear oooooooooooooooooooooo! Where you dey? Abeg come collect hug, I dey hurry, I nor fit shout oooooooooooooooooooo!”
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#rivershouseofassembly on my mind

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P-square sang:
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"So many times i wonder why tears dey for my eyes; for so long me i nor know o....... (tears flowing)
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.....No no no no, i nor fit take am anymore. Lie lie......
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This nor go happen again o. This na my biggest mistake o, (Naija) nor go see me again o and (Naija) nor go put me for shame..... Oremi eeeeeeeeee...."
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Thinking of why i'm a Nigerian... Of all countries, why Naija. Why? 'no no no no no no.... i nor fit take am anymore' (Right now, i'm jetting to Ethiopia to officially disown Naija, then i will fly to u know na....)

Perspective on social issues (1) – Reliving the dumping of toxic waste in Koko



Many years ago, toxic waste was dumped in Koko, Nigeria. It was said that the information came out when Nigerians abroad were being mocked because tons of toxic waste were dumped in our doorstep and yet we had no knowledge of it. I remember then that the Nigerian government and other patriotic Nigerians worked hard to restore Nigeria’s image and credibility. These days, a lot of toxic things are been dumped right in front of us too often that any efforts to repair Nigeria’s image is worthless. Those things are even more toxic than those waste dumped in Koko years ago. Are you wondering what they are? Just tune the news! I’m not talking about NTA. Tune in to BBC, CNN, Aljazeera, Channels, and AIT and then go online and browse Nigeria news on Google and YouTube. Please watch the Video of the River State Assembly mayhem on YouTube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cI3wU4jZRCQ). Those Nigerians who fought tirelessly against the dumping of the toxic waste in Koko would find it hard to comprehend how those who swore to preserve and protect the image of this country only succeed in making it a laughing-stock on a daily basis. Gani Fawehinmi, Fela, and other late social crusaders would turn in their graves were they able to hear the toxic news from Nigeria. Pathetic garbage!

#Whonamedit/Whomadeit (Who deserves more credit?)



Camper’s fascia is ‘the fatty part of the superficial fascia of the lower anterior abdominal wall.

Camper’s ligament is ‘the layer of fascia extending between the ischiopubic rami inferior to the sphincter urethrae and the deep transverse perineal muscle.


Named after Petrus Camper, ‘Dutch physician and anatomist, born May 11, 1722, Leiden; died April 7, 1789, The Hague.


So much for whom it was named after, what about who made it? Who deserves more credit? Even Professor Camper recognized that:

“…he was even appointed to the chairs of anatomy and surgery, an office illness prevented him from entering until April 28, 1750. The topic of his inaugural address – De mundo optimo – was living in the best possible world created by an omnipotent and benevolent God. He points to the fact of the enormous variety, both in living and non-living nature, which demonstrates the ordering power of the Supreme Being.” -


#Whonamedit/Whomadeit (Who deserves more credit?)

Wednesday 10 July 2013

We learn ever always!

 


We learn ever always
Life filled with lessons
Stories of a world so big
And of a man so small
Times we feel we've seen it all
And life shows us how we are yet to start

Today a baby is born
Can’t see and hear everything
But yearns to know about the land
He’s been far off in a sea of ocean
Floating and swimming in a wealth of moisture
Suddenly, he comes to a world of dryness
Carried through space by strange and familiar voices
Suckles from a familiar body

As his eyes open and ears brighten,
‘O, there you are. There you are!’
Surprise, surprise: people walk, no swimming
‘How can I be like them?’
Learns to walk but stumbles
Crawls, stands, and waits
One day, he walks, ‘Ah ha! I've done it’
Learns to speak like others
Develops a vocabulary
I've known it all’

Surprise, off to school, he’s bundled
‘What!’
‘You need to learn more about the land’
So, from school to school he goes
Learning is now the way of life
He’s through with school
Off to the world he goes!
New tricks and skills to learn
‘Where does the learning stops?’

He’s been having friends and friends
Changing friends like the seasons
‘You need to be steady
‘You have to settle down
Raise a family; build an ocean for others to come’
‘Learn to do these things
They are so important.’
‘When will this learning stop?’

‘Till the end of your days’
An aged man said
‘When the bones get fragile again
You learn to walk again
Crawl on the ground again
Lose teeth again
Learn to speak again
Forget the length of days again
And you go back again

From whence you came!’

Short Fiction (3) – Cynthia and John!


When Cynthia was a young lady, she was approached by John. They became friends. In a few months, John told Cynthia:
‘Cynthia, you know I love you. Will you marry me?’
Cynthia started laughing: ‘John John, if na play, stop am. Marry you at this age? You know I’m still young. I want to experience the world first before I marry. If I marry now, I won’t have stories to tell my children when I grow old.’
After some persuasion, John left the matter to rest.

5 years later, John ran across Cynthia. She was still single. John asked: ‘Cynthia, how far na? Are you still experiencing the world?’
Cynthia: ‘I graduated last year. I’m serving now. I just started experiencing the world.’
John: ‘OK’

In another 5 years, John met Cynthia again. This time, John was married with children. John asked Cynthia: ‘Cynthia, how far? Are you still experiencing the world?’
Cynthia: ‘I just got my visa to travel out. In short, I’m just beginning to experience the world.’
John:  ‘OK’


In another 10 years, John came across one magazine. As he was going through it, he saw a column, ‘Relationships! By Cynthia ……’ Cynthia was still single and she was now using the wealth of her experience to write columns for well-known newspapers and magazine. Her audience is now ‘her children.’ Articles include: ‘How to start a relationship!’ ‘How to keep your relationship alive!’ ‘The secret to maintaining a new relationship!’


P.S. It's not a true story. Names and characters were made up.

The things I learnt about the Northern man! (Redacted!)



(I first wrote and posted this piece some years ago on my Facebook wall. I've made some revisions. A lot has happened since then but I still stand by the sentiments so here expressed. These are from my personal experiences. You may not agree with me and not every Northern man show these qualities so here outlined. The term ‘Northern man’ used in this article is meant to represent men and women who originates from and lives in the core Northern states of Nigeria)

Often time, when we hear news about the Northern part of Nigeria, it’s easy to conjure in our minds the images of savages whose preoccupation is to loot, burn and destroy. You may wonder how people live there! That’s understandable. Sadly, that is not a holistic picture of the North. There are positives in the Northern narrative. Permit me to itemize those good features of the Northern man whom I came to like. In doing this, I’ll draw some contrasts between him and the Southern man I know.

His honesty and trust! I was surprised to notice the honesty, trustfulness and trustworthiness of the Northern man. It's a sharp contrast to what I saw down Southern Nigeria where I grew up. When you go to the markets in the North, the prices the Northern trader would tell you are more likely to be correct. I felt more comfortable buying an item from him than a fellow Southern trader who sells same items nearby. In his place of business, he could afford to leave his goods to pray or have his meal without looking over his shoulders. He knows his things are safe. The carefreeness with which even household items are kept reflects his trust and often it is not betrayed. Many depend solely on what they earn instead of cutting corners to enrich themselves. You see this often in places of employment. Recent developments may make trust a challenge but that has not always been the case through my stay up North.

His simplicity! The hallmark of the Northern man is his simplicity. He is simple to a superlative degree. Thus, he is so approachable. This is not affected by whatever status or position he attains in the society. As a doctor who studied in the South, let me use the hospital settings as a case study. In the teaching hospital where I trained you can always tell who the Chief Medical Director (CMD) is because he is always with an entourage. So applies to other principal officers of the hospital. Amazingly, it's a contrast with what I saw in the North!  I did my internship in a teaching hospital in the North. I walked past the CMD a couple of times without knowing; until a colleague told me who he was. There is a renowned Consultant Urologist of class in the same hospital who oversees kidney transplants. Yet, he is such a simple and approachable individual.

His religion, His life!  In the South, you can easily see a disconnection between a man's life, business, job and his religion. Many in the South see religion as something you are reminded of on a Sunday but largely forgotten about for the rest of the week. There are traditional religions in the South and some people jostle between that and the mainstream religion as the need warrants. In contrast, to the Northern man, his religion is his life, his culture, his tradition and way of life. It's hard to see any disconnect between his religion and his life. The ways he relates with his family and others reflect a deep link with his belief systems. He holds his faith with such high regard that he would not tolerate any denigration of the icons and symbols that he so deeply reveres. Their zeal for what they believe is something of admiration. He has much regard for his religious leaders. He wants his religion to be respected. He believes whatever he achieves in his life is the wish of the Almighty. Like in other religions, there are those who do not uphold all the tenets of their faith; but by-and-large, the Northern man places his faith and beliefs on a high pedestal.

His contentment! Generally, the Northern man is contented with his lot in life! He is satisfied with what he has. No matter his socioeconomic class, he's at peace with himself. He is not berserk with the anxieties, stress and the hassles of 'I better pass my neighbour'. The Northern trader does not wake up early in the morning to open his store where he sells things. He does not have the rush-rush attitude we often see in the South. He doesn't stay so late so as to sell more except his trade is for late-night customers like in 'suya' spots. When he does not have an item for sale, he readily directs his customers to nearby stores where such goods can be obtained. He does not wish ill-luck for colleagues in the same trade and he can even help them sell their items when they are not around. The same is seen even among civil service workers. Unlike in the South where there's so much do-or-die, for the Northern man, it's do-and-live. He reckons that it is not by his power or might but by the will of the Almighty!

His hospitality! With the news of recurrent violence which is so often aired in the media, it would be difficult for some to agree that the Northern man is hospitable. If you've stayed in the East or West of Nigeria, you may conclude objectively that there is a level of hospitality in the North. If you are a stranger looking for direction or you've lost your way, the Northern man can afford to leave whatever he is doing and take you to the right place. If you are a new employee in a company and you are not familiar with the terrain of the place, they would lovingly help you. You are made to feel at home. That is my personal experience when I came to the North.

Let me at this point relate a personal story of my life. When I graduated from the university down South as a medical doctor, I spent about 8 months looking for a spot to do the mandatory one year housemanship. I scoured several hospitals in the South and attended so many interviews in the South; all without success. I did everything I could: got the recommendation letters, complementary cards and the likes, yet still, there was no job for me. I was getting dejected, depressed and frustrated about a system that appeared rigged against me. All along, I've heard from and about colleagues and classmates, who've gone up North and are working. I was scared of going to the North because of the threat of violence. But, after months and months of my fruitless search for job in the South, I picked up my bag and traveled up, up North. I promised not to come back to the South until I got a job. After about a month or two in the North, I got a job. Alhamdulillahi! (Praise be to Allah) With the help of the Almighty, that job saved my life. By God’s favour, I moved from job to job in the North. Since then, I did not spend a single month without a job and its four years and counting. I’m no longer in the core North, but I’ll forever be grateful for the opportunities I had in the North. No one cared much about who I was or where I came from; they were interested in my qualifications and what skills and knowledge I had. I was made to feel like somebody, like a human being. I will never ever forget that. By God’s grace, I’ll live to remember how the North saved my life. I did not have everything I wanted but I had enough to keep me going. It was not a bed of roses but at least I had a bed and much more.


In conclusion, here is the story of a Northern man who is honest and trustworthy, simple and approachable, deeply religious, contented with his lot in life and not the least, hospitable. Indeed, there are those who deviate from the above narrative. There are socioeconomic challenges and demographic variables which threaten the very values that I have espoused above. Nonetheless, everyday as I went about my civic duties up North, I saw the Northern man whom I have come to like, in action and I’m grateful to God for the privilege I had in knowing him. As-salaam alaykum! (Peace be upon you!)

Short story: If he/she were your child, how would you treat him/her?


A man has a child. This child did something wrong. The father noticed what the child did wrong, but he did not say anything. He did not call the child to correct him/her. The child was not told directly or indirectly that he/she did something wrong. Another time, the child repeated the wrong. The father also noticed what was wrong but did not say anything. The child did it the third time. The father felt he has had enough. Instead of calling the child to correct him or her, the father waited until there was a gathering of the entire family. It was at that point, in the presence of everybody, he now mentioned what the child did. The father now went down memory lane and mentioned all the times the child did wrong. He embarrassed the child in front of everybody in the name of teaching the child a vital moral lesson. The child was shocked and dumbfounded by what he/she held. The child was surprised beyond words and he did not know what to say. At a point the child got some courage and attempted speaking on his own defense. The father quickly shut him down saying, ‘Shut up. You have nothing to say. What in the world can you say to defend those stupid actions you took? Shut up and sit down.’ Reluctantly, the child was forced to see down. He was seething in anger, but he had no means of expressing it.

The child reasoned within, ‘Everybody deserves to be heard. No matter how terrible or stupid the offense is, everyone deserves to be heard. I’m your own child for God sake! Why can’t you just hear me out? There was a reason for what I did. I knew what I was doing. Even if what I did was wrong, why did you not call me in private to correct me? Even if I did wrong, how would I know if no one corrects me? I’m not perfect just like everyone else. You, my father, are not perfect. You must have done wrong before and someone corrected you. That’s how you learnt to be a better individual. Why can’t you show me the same courtesy as you did to everyone else? Why, dad? Why? (Sobbing……..)

Lesson: Sometimes, at home, places of work, school, we see people doing something wrong. If the person lives, works or schools under you and you are in a position to correct that person, would you act like this father? Won’t you rather act differently and call the person’s attention to the wrong in private before bringing it to the attention of others if that is even necessary in the first place? There are times we may feel threatened to approach the person alone. Why not go with someone else to serve as a witness or to provide some level of security; you don’t need to blow a trumpet when there is no specific threat to you! Yes, there are times we may be overzealous in correcting others and get carried away by that euphoria. But, think about this, if you were the one that did wrong, how would you want others to treat you? Would you want them to show you some respect by bring the issue to you in private before announcing it to the world? Why not do the same for others. Remember, the golden rule, ‘Do to others what you would have them do to you.’

Tuesday 9 July 2013

Just a thought – Washing feet!



In the days of Jesus, there were no cars. Back then, most persons walk with their feet to their various destinations, however long it was. So, when you receive a visitor who must have trekked many kilometers to see you, one way of showing good hospitality and humility is by washing their feet and cleaning dust off their feet. But, in our days, there are cars everywhere both public and private. Now, imagine a man who dressed up at home, wore socks and shoes, entered his AC-tight car and drove to your place for a visit. No chance of encountering any dust whatsoever. Now, you want to show hospitality, you then went about removing his shoes and socks, bringing sponge, soap, water and towel to wash his feet because that was what Jesus did in his days. Aren't there other ways of showing hospitality and humility? Must you wash another man’s feet? If his body is so dirty, give him water to bath! Shuooooooooo (exclaims)!

Sunday 7 July 2013

Jokes in Pidgin English (51) – ‘Pray for us!’


In Naija, we dey claim say we be secular society but everywhere you go, any public meeting you attend, you go hear, ‘Before we start, can somebody lead us in prayers? … Before we close, can somebody lead us in prayers?’ Wetin dey pain me pass, dem go just call anybody wen dem like to pray. Dem nor dey ask whether the person na Christian, Muslim, pagan, or atheist. ‘Please, lead us in prayers.’ You go see a complete stranger wen you nor know from Adam, ‘Please, pray for us.’ Whether the person na murderer, robber, 419, ritualist, nobody wan know; all them want, ‘Pray for us.’
Listen to these stories:
1.    One day, for one secondary school. For assembly ground one morning, dem call one teacher come pray. The teacher shock. He be like say em ma nor dey pray for house. Na so the teacher start to pray, ‘…… Let there be light and there was light…’ O boy, na so people burst laugh. Dem tell am to come pray, instead my guy wan create heaven and earth o.
2.    One guy go drink, he come dey drunk. Na so he late go one meeting. Being that the guy late, dem come call am to say closing prayers. Dem nor know say the guy dey drunk. Na so drunkard stagger get up. ‘Hmmm… hmmm… Baba God, please, help us with another round… round of… bear, sorry, blessings…’
3.    One guy nor dey go church, dem ask the guy to pray for one public function, na so the guy stand up… ‘O God, good morning, sorry, good afternoon…’ people come dey laugh. Somebody say, ‘dem tell you say this time na afternoon for heaven?’


P.S. nor be everybody wen you see, you go tell, ‘pray for us’; abeg, make you nor collect bad thing wen nor be your own ooo…

Jokes in Pidgin English (50) – Doctor, I dey pass ‘physics’!


I receive text message one day from somebody. It read, “Doctor, I go toilet to pass ‘physics’…” O boy, na so I hala (shout): Physics wen dey hard to pass for secondary school and university, this guy go toilet and pass ‘physics’ sharp sharp. I wish I know then, na toilet I for go pass my ‘physics’ ooo… The text continue, ‘my physics na water water…’ Hmmm, this ‘physics’ wen contain water water so, na Chemistry and Physics be that. The text continue, ‘my physics contain something like worm (that na biology and zoology), even vegetable wen I eat dey inside (that na biology and botany)…. Hmmm, this my friend go toilet and passed physics (faeces), chemistry and biology. O men, WAEC, NECO, JAMB and others need to see that toilet for proper investigation….. Laugh wan kpai (kill) me o…

Saturday 6 July 2013

Jokes in Pidgin English (49) – Come and Steal!


Once upon a time there was a man who lives in a certain place. Whenever he leaves his home, thieves would come into his house to steal his things. This happened on so many occasions. So, fed up with the incessant loss of his properties to thieves, he decided to act. So, one morning, he brought out all of his properties: electronics, furniture, kitchen items, generating set, etc. He then hung a large sign on top of the properties. The sign read, ‘Come and steal them’. He then left the house for days. When passersby saw the notice, they were surprised. Some of the thieves who had stolen from the man before passed by, saying, ‘Hmmm… na waooo… this one wen this man pack em properties come out like this. Hmmm… maybe the man don do heavy juju (charms). Hmmm… if person touch these things, person go collect o (Injure).’
This man’s properties stayed outside for several days and nights, nobody took anything away. He came back and met his things intact. From that day onward, no thief came to his house again.

There was this single lady who was living alone. So, one young man, a neighbour of hers was persuading her to sleep with him. She refused. She said she was not interested. But the young man persisted. Fed up with the whole kabuki dance and worries from this young man, she decided to act. One day, when she and the guy were alone in the house, she wore a towel to the guy’s room. When she got there, she pulled away the towel and was completely naked, saying, ‘See me. What can you do?’ When the guy saw the lady naked, he fainted. After, he woke up, he was asked what happened. He said he saw a ghost. From that day onward, he could not look the lady in the eye, let alone, asking her out.

P.S. My people na joke. If you try wetin the man in the 1st story and the lady in the 2nd story do, you go collect. It’s a joke, not an endorsement. 

Friday 28 June 2013

Jokes – Snoring!


(Good English) There was this young man who took his lady friend home. There was no power supply from Power (With)Holding Company of Nigeria (PHCN). So, he decided to put on his small generator (gen). The lady could not sleep because of the noise from the gen. Hence, she asked the young man to put off the gen. Later, after falling deep asleep, the lady started to snore, ‘hurhurhurhurhurhurhur.’ This time, the young man could not fall asleep, so he went out to put on the gen. He reasoned that the noise of the gen could override that of his snoring friend. Unfortunately, the sound of the gen woke up the lady.
She said, ‘John, please put off the gen, the noise is too much.’
John was so upset, he said, ‘Which of the gen will I put off? …The one on the inside or the one on the outside? Please, Cynthia, sleep and leave me alone.’

(Pidgin English) John come provoke, he say: “Na which gen I go off? The one wen dey outside or the one wen dey inside. Cynthia, abeg abeg, sleep and leave me alone!”

#IfnotforFacebook…!



I've been seeing and hearing a lot more complaints about Facebook of late. It’s gotten so bad that some ardent Facebook users have decided to reconsider their usage of Facebook social media. These complaints are legitimate, understandable and appropriate. I've personally had a fair share of complaints. The problems range from Facebook scams, hacking, and stolen identities to posting of indecent and inappropriate materials. Needless to say, the above developments are saddening, provocative and frankly disappointing. That said, I have a deep and sentimental attachment to Facebook and I promise to always keep my Facebook page no matter what. Why is that?

Let me give you an illustration. A knife is a very valuable household implement. With a knife, you can arrange a lovely meal, cut and slice some food items, decorate and design your home, do gardening and the likes. At the same time, the knife can also be put to bad use: it can be used to intimidate, assault, and harm people. The question now is: will you stop using a knife simply because someone else used knives to steal or commit murder? The answer is no. In the same vein, let’s ask ourselves: Will it be right to stop using Facebook simply because some have and are still using it to cause harm to others? Won’t we rather seek ways to protect ourselves from the bad influences on Facebook? Accidents happen every day, sometimes as a result of the bad conduct of some drivers, should that stop you from using the road? Won’t people of evil intent always seek ways to bring harm to others? Should that stop you from living your life?

Let’s not forget Facebook in a hurry and brush aside the much good it has brought to our lives. Let’s remember what good Facebook has brought to each and every one of us. I can’t forget Facebook. It made me discover my talents and potentials. It me a better me! As a result, I’m starting this hashtag on my blog, Facebook wall, Twitter account and others: #IfnotforFacebook… I’m using this to encourage myself and others to write and contribute to what good Facebook has done in their lives.
#IfnotforFacebook…!
1.    I won’t have discovered and rediscovered my flair for writing. Facebook provided me the audience, that is, my lovely Facebook friends. I write and post my write-ups on Facebook and almost immediately, I get a response from a friend who has read it. I can tell when my write-up is good, fair or bad. However it was I’m encouraged to do better next time. I don’t make money from what I write, but I feel rewarded knowing that I have something special and that I can contribute in my own way to bring good cheer to a fellow human being.
2.    I won’t have discovered friends and relatives that I've lost contact with for a very long time. With the help of Facebook, I've been able to reach old schoolmates who are now settled in different parts of the world. How else would I have seen some of my primary (elementary) school mates? How else would I have seen my secondary (high school) and university (college) schoolmates who have traveled abroad or in different parts of my country? I have received friend request from people who knew me several years ago but I had no recollection of who they were. How else would I have known about them?
3.    How else would I hear of some important developments that affects me and my friends directly or indirectly? I've gotten information from Facebook friends about job interviews, job spaces, and other productive life ventures. I've heard and received wedding notices, invites, graduation news, news of the arrival of a new baby, and many others. How else…?
#IfnotforFacebook…


To be continued!

Sunday 9 June 2013

Jokes – Ice-cream!


One guy went out with the girlfriend. She was on the heavy side! They got to a fast-food restaurant. The guy was confused on where to go; there were spots for ‘suya,’ foreign and local dishes, drinks, and of course, ice-cream. The guy asked the lady, ‘Where are we heading?’
The lady answered, ‘Why are you asking? Can’t you see there is an ice-cream stand over there?’ So, off to the ice-cream spot they went.
On another date, they went to another restaurant. This restaurant had many spots including a spot for an ATM Machine, in case you ran out of money. The guy started walking towards the ice-cream spot; the lady drew him back, saying, ‘Where are you going?’
The guy said: ‘The ice-cream spot, of course.’
Lady: ‘Let’s stop by the ATM Machine first.’
Guy: ‘I left my card at home. Did you bring yours?’

Lady: ‘I was just kidding. Please, let’s go and buy ice-cream.’