A word a day … (17-01-13)!

Sometimes we all make foolish mistakes. That does not make you a fool. It only makes you human. The way we respond to such mistakes is what counts the most. Our reaction matters more because at this point wisdom and foolishness part ways.

A Joke a day keeps the doctor away! (17-01-13)

Facebook-induced Marriage. Once upon a time, if a lady wants to encourage her ‘guy’ to step up (man up), she would drag him to attend her friends’ weddings! These days, no need for that: we have Facebook. Biodun loved Dupe but Biodun was not taking the relationship to the next level, I meant, ‘to the permanent site.’ Any time Biodun visits Dupe, Dupe will open her Facebook page. ‘My dear, look at these pictures. So lovely, that’s Mary and her husband. Mary and I were classmates in school. Oh, I love this one. Look at the ring, splendid.’
Another visit: ‘Come! Come. This is Sandra. She was in the same class with my baby sister. She just got married. Waoh!’
Another visit: ‘Come and look.’
‘Dupe, I brought you a present.’ Dupe hopes were up. Biodun then brought out a brand new Blackberry phone. ‘Oh, oh oh….’
‘You don’t like it?’
‘No, I like it. It’s very womanly.’
(In Dupe's mind: Ode(fool), Blackberry and engagement ring na de same thing?)

Experiences; Lessons Learnt (1) Talents!

On my way up North some time ago, I got to the Park in Benin. When the bus was fully loaded and we were preparing for departure, a young man walked up to the bus. He started telling us that he was on his way down South when he suffered a misfortune and that now he does not have the means to get home. He sounded reasonable at first but I was skeptical of his plea. You can’t trust a man who goes begging in a Park; it’s difficult to verify their claims. At a point the man felt he wasn't getting the response he wanted, so he started pleading intensely for help. This man started shedding tears; he was crying, ‘Please, I’m your brother. Help me.’ Some passengers at that point decided to give him money. I was still not convinced. It felt like it’s all a hoax. After he left, a man sitting close to me inside the bus confirmed my suspicion. He said that the young man begs like that in the Park and that he’s been playing the ‘tears’ card for long. I felt bad: “If this guy can cry false tears like this and act so convincingly, why not go into acting? That is Nollywood material ‘na’?” How often we hear of people who use to beg or hawk on the street and in the process uncovered a hidden potential in singing, dancing and the like.

It reminds me of the story of Choi, Sung-Bong: a homeless young man who stole the show at the Korea’s Got Talent last year. He was abandoned in an orphanage at age three. At the age of 5, he ran out of the institution because of the maltreatment he received and he basically lived on the streets thereafter. At the age of 14, he was selling chewing gum at a night club when he heard a classical vocalist perform. What he heard that night inspired him to pursue a music career and his talent in music was unraveled in the process. His performance at the Korea Got Talent show drew tears from the eyes of his audience and the video of the show became a worldwide YouTube sensation. I felt my tears when I watched the video. He is now a well known figure in South Korea and around the world.
What did I learn from the above events?

We were all born with different gifts. Not all our gifts are apparent in childhood; not all are discovered in school; not all are revealed through conventional channels and not all are found for the right reasons. Nevertheless, when we uncover our gift, may we nourish and cherish it as a gift from our Creator and may we use it right to better our lives and the lives of those around us

– My Reflections.

Jokes in Pidgin English (14)

Naija Special English!

Let me start by saying this: I love Pidgin English. Growing up in the heart of South-South Nigeria, Pidgin is the first language you learn. When I speak the language home and away, I always feel at home and I tend to say too much as a result. I know some friends who can't speak or understand, not d least, read Pidgin English. To them I say: I'm sorry. I can't help it. Now:

Blind Beggar Tori!

E get one blind man wen dey beg for one road junction. One smart guy waka meet d blind man. This guy drop 20naira 4 d blind man plate and collected 100naira change in d process thinking d blind man won't notice. As he turned to leave, the blind man laughed out loudly saying:

'Na wa ooo. See small boy wan cheat old man. When I dey ur age, na so i dey collect from where I nor sow. Na one man wen I collect from, na' em curse me. That's why I be beggar now. If u nor want that curse to follow you, come drop the 100naira sharp sharp.'

The guy replied: 'Bros, cool down na. Na we we na. Na me be d deaf and dumb for the next junction.'

Blind man: 'Ok co-worker. Nor worry. Carry go. That 100naira note na d counterfeit money one guy drop for me yesterday.'

A Joke a day keeps the doctor away! (16-01-13)

Years ago while on my matriculation groove, the ‘staylites’ (as opposed to the Jambites) were singing: “Matriculation nor be convocation; matriculation nor be convocation; matriculation nor be convocation; somebody go kpai.” At that time I felt: “Who cares? Let’s celebrate today’s joys and face tomorrow’s problems when it comes.” Anyways, years later I understood the full meaning of that song. ‘No be small thing o.’

‘See, na joke! I nor dey oh.’ There was this guy, he was a staylite. He had a younger brother who was a Jambite. They went to a convocation ceremony together. Before they left home, they agreed on a code of communication:

1^st class degree = I too know

2^nd class upper degree = I pass them

2^nd class lower degree = I am loyal

3^rd class degree = I don’t care

Pass = I was there

Fail = The Devil is a liar.

When they got to the ceremony, they went inside the Auditorium.

Jambite pointed to some guys grinning from molar to molar, Staylite said: ‘I too know.’

Jambite pointed to some sitting close to the podium, Staylite: ‘I pass them.’

Jambite looked behind him, Staylite: ‘I am loyal.’

Finally, they came out. Jambite saw so many people with convocation gowns standing outside taking pictures and partying. Jambite: ‘Why are they standing outside when the actual ceremony is going on inside? Staylite: ‘I don’t care.’

Not long after that they heard some guys with convocation gowns whining about the lecturers and administrative staffs that who took part in a procession in and out of the hall. Staylite introduced them as the ‘I was there’ crew.

At the back of the Auditorium, Jambite saw a group of boys and girls. They were praying, singing, binding, and exorcising. Jambite pointed at them. Staylite: ‘Stop staring at them. The Devil is a liar.’

A word a day … (16-01-13)!

Looking good is good practice but doing just as well or even better in other areas of your life is good living!

Jokes in Pidgin English (13)

Mr Lecturer!

Those days 4 school, e get one lecturer for Engineering wen dey like to set hard hard questions for exams. U know those kind of lecturers wen dey use example for textbook teach, but wen exam reach na the exercise dey go use take set questions. Students dey complain well well about d lecturer. One day, after one exam, the Dean of Engineering come call d Lecturer enter em office. He come give am seat, give am the question paper wen d lecturer use take set d exam, give am biro and paper, set clock to time am, d Dean say, ‘oya, answer your questions in the allocated time.’ Simple thing! Na u set these questions, u na answer d questions? O boy, na so d lecturer dey sweat like who dem pour water for him body. E nor fit answer d questions in d allocated time. Abeg, Mr. Lecturer make who na dey pity students naa, set questions wen your children fit anwer naaa. Biko! Mr. Lecturer Laho (please)!