Experiences; Lessons Learnt (5) - Nightmares!

I stayed long in school. Now, years after I've graduated, my worst nightmares in my dream sleep involve seeing myself back in school and preparing for another undergraduate exam. I’m so scared, 'I have not read this, I have not read that and exam is so close.' When I get so nervous and afraid and all sweaty, suddenly I wake up: ‘You have graduated. Calm down. You have graduated.’ The words that ring in my head to calm me down! It got me thinking:

“Sometimes, our nightmares are hard reminders of our worst struggles. In a way, they speak to us: Remember how far you've come and whence you came.”
My Reflections!

Experiences; Lessons Learnt (4) – The worth of a man!

Still on my long trip to the South: When we got to Auchi and Ekpoma, some passengers disembarked from the bus. The driver picked new passengers along the way; much to our dismay (you can’t tell who is who that late in the night). There was this young man that boarded the bus. He came in and just kept to himself. He was so quiet that my discomfort increased; you know what they say, ‘It’s always the quiet ones.’ When we were about 15mins drive from Benin, our vehicle broke down in the middle of nowhere. ‘Uhmmm!’ The Driver and the rest of us were at a loss on what to do except for this young man. This guy took control of the situation. He was making suggestions on how to fix the car, and relating personal experiences on situations like this. Eventually we hailed another bus to tow our bus to Benin. The driver was so appreciative of the young man’s help that he thanked him repeatedly for the rest of the journey. It got me thinking:

You cannot tell the worth of some individuals until there is an urgent problem that needs to be solved. Great men are not only known for great speeches but are also known for doing great things in spite of great odds.

My Reflections!

Experiences; Lessons Learnt (3) – Assurances!

I traveled to the South a while ago. It was a long road trip. Scared of having a running stomach, I did not take breakfast before l left for the park. When we got to Kaduna, I was so hungry but I was too scared to eat because I had an unpleasant experience the last time I traveled that long. Some hours later we got to Abuja. My stomach was rumbling and I was much at unease. When we stopped to get fuel, I bought snacks and a drink. I did not eat them right away. I just kept them with me. Even though I had not eaten, when my body recognized that food was available and it was just a matter of time before I ate I became at ease and felt some relief. It got me thinking:

Sometimes what we need from our friends and family is the guarantee that they will be there for us when we need them. Even though they may not be present with us in person, but knowing that, God willing, they will be there for us when we need them is reassuring. The assurance that no matter where the highs and lows of life take us, we will have our close pals to stand with us, pray for us and help us through trying times. We don’t see God but knowing that He is always there for us is a most comforting thought.

My Reflections!

Jokes in Pidgin English (16)

‘I wanna go!’
Somebody ask me why I dey like to write write online, I tell d guy, “See, guy now is the time to discover other talents ooo. Because the way things dey change for Naija now, make you nor wake up one day, dem say Naija don turn to Jamaica ooo. Because if Naija change to Jamaica, if you nor sabi, ‘what ah guan?’ na wahala ooo.”
This thin come make me remember one staff wen dey work with me those days. She dey assist me dey interpret. Dis lady, uhmmmm! She dey speak Special English. English wen nor be Pidgin English and nor be good English. English wen I never hear for my life before. I dey use sense dey listen so dat she nor go interpret toxic stuff to me or the patient. Any time wen I see say she dey stammer, ‘em eh em eh’ I know say na toxic stuff dey come. So I go rewind wetin I talk. This lady, any time patients don finish, if she wan go house, she go say ‘I wanna go.’ E be like say dat na the English wen she learn from India films.
Na so, every day wen we close, ‘I wanna go’…. ‘I wanna go’
So one day, she wan go collect something outside then she go come back later, she say, ‘I wanna came’
Na so I quickly tell her, ‘before u wanna came, me I wanna go ooo’
Na so I take comot o… It's all good. All join! Enjoy!

A Joke a Day keeps the Doctor away (18-01-13) -3

In Remembrance - UNILAG/MAUL Saga - Part 3

Now wen Unilag don turn to MAU (d sound resemble d sound wen cow, namanama, dey make) and LUTH don turn MAUTH (sounds like mouth), medical students in LUTH and doctors wen finish frm LUTH nor go get MAUTH to talk again.
'Hey u, which teaching hosp did u finish frm?'
'MAUTH' (in whispers)
'Come again, is somethin wrong with ur MOUTH? Speak up!'
'I said MAUTH, Sir!'

Imagine medical student from LUTH dey follow dat from UBTH dey quarrel. Maybe dem jam for NIMSA Games.
LUTH: dat na my space na. Wetin u dey do there?
UBTH: See ur MAUTH. Who give u space here? People dey talk, u still get MAUTH to talk.
LUTH: I nor blame u. If nor be dat man wen resemble ...., go change d name of my sch, u for nor dey talk dis na.
UBTH: MAUTH, keep ur MAUTH shut. If i slap dis ur MAUTH, u go resemble d man wen give una dat name.

Ayaaaaa.... I dey pity for Unilag students and graduates. No more swags and phonetics. Listen:
Guy: Hi, i'm Sam. What's ur name?
Lady: i'm Angela but my friends call me Angie (see fonee)
Sam: I finishd from Uniport. What sch did u finish from?
Angie: (hesitantly) em em eh eh (she go come give d history of her school), actually i finishd from the University of Lagos, Unilag(fonetically) but i learnt the name has bn changed to ....(pretending she's forgotten)
Sam: Oh! U mean MAU?

O girl, na dere swag take end o. Ayaaaa.. I dey follow una dey mourn d death of swag and fonee..

A Joke a day keeps the doctor away! (18-01-13) -2

In Remembrance: UNILAG/MAUL Saga (2)

Latest Edition of 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire?'
Frank Edoho: The next question will give you 1 million Naira. It goes like this:
Which of the following is the current name of the Federal University in Lagos:
A) Moshood Abiola University (MAU 'like d sound of cows')
B) Moshood Abiola Lagos University (MALU 'like the cows in d North')
C) Moshood Abiola University Lagos (MAUL 'like the actions of a mad cow on a bystander')
D) Moshood Abiola Nigeria University (MANU 'like d Red Devils of England')
Contestant was confused. He said, 'Let me phone a friend, Baba'
Baba is a core Yoruba man. After Frank has finished reading the questions, Baba laughed, 'Frank Frank, ejooo... You dey make me laugh ooo., Please, call the Rock. It's like the boy i left there is taking too much shekpe and agbo,.. they re acting comedy in my Rock. Please, any of the above is the answer ojare.

A Joke a day keeps the doctor away! (18-01-13) -1

In Remembrance: UNILAG/MAUL Saga (1)

There was this man named Kalu, he had a son called Johnbull. Johnbull was a very stubborn son. One day, Mr kalu sent his son on an errand to buy cow meat. Instead of buying cow meat, Johnbull bought goat meat. The father was so angry:
"Johnbull, why did you buy goat meat instead of the cow meat i sent u?"
"Papa, i'm tired of eating cow meat, let's eat goat meat today for a change"
"My friend, who are you to tell me what and what to eat? Go back to the market and change it to cow meat."
"Father, i can't. The man won't accept it"
"I don't care. Go and change it now"
"Father, i'm not going", said Johnbull walking away.
"Johnbull, where do you think you are going? I say Johnbull come here.
If you don't come back here, as the head of this house, i will change your name to Maubull"
"Father, don't worry, I've already changed my surname to Ma'lu, everyday cow meat, everyday cow meat. Ha. Ha. One day, cow meat will grow in our stomach."