I Love Pidgin English Talk Talk!(7) – ‘Heat too much or Rain too plenty!’

Rain or heat, which one you prefer? Make I give una two tory.

E get one day like that wen I dey South, heavy rain come jam me for road. I come dey run, dey run, wen d rain increase, I come see one store for the side of the road, I come run enter. The store na this metallic shipping container wen dem convert to a retail provision store. As the rain heavy with winds, the owner of the store come decide to lock the door of the container/store. O boy, when the door was locked. No window, no air in and out. O man, see heat. Na so I dey sweat thick thick sweat. I wan die for heat; meanwhile heavy rain dey fall outside. Wen the heat reach one point, I nor fit bear am. Na so, I tell the owner of the store, ‘My guy, nor vex o. Thanks for your hospitality(heatability). Now, I wanna go.’ Na so he open door, I run enter rain o. I prefer make the rain beat me than to stay inside oven. Me, I nor be bread wen need baking.

Some time ago, I dey North. He get one fine house I rent one time. Dem use paint to paint the house. I think say na one correct house. Na wen rainy season start, na den I know say where the house dey na river. Na so water dey enter house, dey wet every. That time, I prefer to sleep under heat than to pray make rain fall. E get one day, the cloud dark. I know say na heavy rain dey come. Na so I see one guy knee down dey cabage, dey pray, ‘O God, stop this rain. Stop this rain.’ I nor know whether the prayer was answered. All I know be say after some minutes, the floodgates of the heavens were open and rain fall heavily like say tomorrow nor dey.

O boy, heat or rain, which one you prefer? Na your circumstances go decide o… If rain water dey enter your house as flood, you go like the heat o. But if your house be like bakery and water nor dey enter your house, the rain go be blessing o. Na so I see am.