Years ago while on my matriculation groove, the ‘staylites’ (as
opposed to the Jambites) were singing: “Matriculation nor be convocation; matriculation
nor be convocation; matriculation nor be convocation; somebody go kpai.” At
that time I felt: “Who cares? Let’s celebrate today’s joys and face tomorrow’s
problems when it comes.” Anyways, years later I understood the full meaning of
that song. ‘No be small thing o.’
‘See, na joke! I nor dey oh.’ There was this guy, he was a
staylite. He had a younger brother who was a Jambite. They went to a convocation
ceremony together. Before they left home, they agreed on a code of
communication:
1st class degree = I too know
2nd class upper degree = I pass them
2nd class lower degree = I am loyal
3rd class degree = I don’t care
Pass = I was there
Fail = The Devil is a liar.
When they got to the ceremony, they went inside the
Auditorium.
Jambite pointed to some guys grinning from molar to molar,
Staylite said: ‘I too know.’ Jambite pointed to some sitting close to the
podium, Staylite: ‘I pass them.’
Jambite looked behind him, Staylite: ‘I am loyal.’
Finally, they came out. Jambite saw so many people with
convocation gowns standing outside taking pictures and partying. Jambite: ‘Why
are they standing outside when the actual ceremony is going on inside? Staylite:
‘I don’t care.’
At the back of the Auditorium, Jambite saw a group of boys
and girls. They were praying, singing, binding, and exorcising. Jambite pointed
at them. Staylite: ‘Stop staring at them. The Devil is a liar.’
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