Jokes in Queen’s English – When I was a child!

Like every other adult, I was once a child. Sometimes, when I think back to the things I did and the things I was told and made to believe as a child, I can’t help but laugh hard. Here are some examples:

As a child, some of the adults around me sometimes hoard the juicy part of the meals: the meat, fish and the like. They would say, ‘Your time dey come (you will get your turn when you grow up).’ Some even said that giving a child the best parts of the meal encourage stealing. Now, I understand why I’m a briefly summarized full stop. I stopped growing before my time because the adults who had stopped growing then would not allow the young to grow.

As a child I was told that Experience is the best Teacher. Then, I wondered, ‘If that is true, why is Mr. Experience not teaching us at school? Which school is Mr. Experience?’

As a child I was told that the child of a neighbour died while playing a game of football. I got scared. Now, I know why I’m not an Okocha or Messi. Instead, I sit in front of a TV to watch them.

As a child I was told by a friend in school that sometimes their TV set at home won’t start-up until they put it in a wheelbarrow and use it to run around the street first. I thought it was a true story. Not until I told a group of friends the story and they just looked at me amusingly that I realized that that was a factitious Super-Story. It was dumb.

As a child I was so scared of taking drugs; I run far away from home to avoid taking medications. Now, I know better, right? ... right?

When I was growing up, I was used to eating Eba, Semo, Pounded Yam and Starch with my bare hands. Much later, I realized that some people ate them with the aid of a spoon or folk. I was shocked. How can you mold it into a swallow-able lump with those utensils? ‘The thing will not pass (can’t be swallowed)’. Well, one day, a friend of mine in school encouraged me to just give it a try. I obliged. When I took my first round of Eba with a folk, my eyes opened and I saw the light and since that time, many years running, I eat ‘every’ with utensils, home and away, at ‘Mama Put’ and Royal Tropicana, from ‘Eat more, Pay less’ to ‘I was there.’ O boy, all join/correct.

O, when I was a child…