Short Fiction – Darlington and his wife!

Let me tell you a story. It’s a plausible fictional story. Take it as a parable that’s meant to drive home a moral lesson. There was this Businessman who was a chronic bachelor for many good years. He was a great cook and one of his favourite pastimes was going to the market, buying fresh food items, cooking and enjoying his meals. He likes having fresh edible ingredients. Hence, he knew the fish market, the goat meat market, the abattoir for fresh cow meat, the fowl joint where he buys live chicken, and then gives it those who will slaughter it in his presence. He also knew where to get fresh vegetables and all kinds of fruits. So, instead of eating out, he looks forward to his meals. When you see him, he had this plump and healthy look. His business was doing fine as well. It was a very sweet story until he got married.

At a point he felt it was time to have a family, so this man now in his forties went home to get a wife. This lady didn't know her husband was a great cook. The marriage was more or less arranged by the couples’ parents. Now a married man, our friend decided to hands off kitchen affairs. After a while, he noticed the wife spends far more on cooking than he did as a bachelor. The wife was also spending so much money on clothes, jewelries and other costly items. Meanwhile the wife was a stay-at-home wife. My friend wanted to have children ASAP because time was not on his side, so he had asked the wife who was a graduate not to work. He endured the wife’s excesses in the hope that when the children come along, things will change. Unfortunately for him, the children did not come soon enough. All of a sudden, there was a high level of insecurity in the city where he lived. Many businesses, including his, suffered. The money was no longer coming as usual. The stress was showing on his physique; the once plump man began to lose weight. All the while, the wife was not wise enough to see that the tide was turning. She was still demanding and spending as ever. To her, it was business as usual.

One day, things came to a head. After a very bad week of business, he decided to take the weekend off to relax at home. He gave his wife money to prepare one of his favourite meals. The wife said the money was not enough. He became upset but he didn't show it. He took the money from the wife. He asked the wife not to worry. He now went to the market himself, just like his old premarital self. After buying all the necessary food items, he got home and prepared the meal himself. He then set the table, dished the food and invited the wife to join him. After tasting the food, the following conversation ensued:

Wife: Whoa, D, this food is delicious o. I didn't know u knew how to cook like this. D, please you should be doing this more often o.
Husband: Now that you have mentioned it, I've been giving it some thought. I've decided to be doing this more often. As a result, I’ll be spending less time at work. Since you won’t be doing the cooking, I've also decided that it is time you start working.
Wife (interrupting): Hey D, I was joking o.
Husband (letting out years of repressed anger): Look Cynthia, don’t D me. I’m not the letter of an alphabet. My name is Darlington and please don’t interrupt me when am talking. You have a degree in English. The proprietor of the school nearby is my friend. I've called and he agreed to employ you as a teacher. Instead of using your English to impress the neighbours, you should use it to impress your pupils and students. And henceforth, whatever you earn from your job is what you will use to buy any personal items you want. My advice: spend it wisely. Don’t worry about food and other household items; I’ll take care of them.
(The wife could not believe her ears.)
Wife: honey, you can’t be serious!
Husband (raising his voice): I’m the head of this house and the decisions I make is final.

Friends, to cut the long story short, life never remained the same again in the household of Darlington and Cynthia.