Sunday, 7 July 2013

Jokes in Pidgin English (51) – ‘Pray for us!’


In Naija, we dey claim say we be secular society but everywhere you go, any public meeting you attend, you go hear, ‘Before we start, can somebody lead us in prayers? … Before we close, can somebody lead us in prayers?’ Wetin dey pain me pass, dem go just call anybody wen dem like to pray. Dem nor dey ask whether the person na Christian, Muslim, pagan, or atheist. ‘Please, lead us in prayers.’ You go see a complete stranger wen you nor know from Adam, ‘Please, pray for us.’ Whether the person na murderer, robber, 419, ritualist, nobody wan know; all them want, ‘Pray for us.’
Listen to these stories:
1.    One day, for one secondary school. For assembly ground one morning, dem call one teacher come pray. The teacher shock. He be like say em ma nor dey pray for house. Na so the teacher start to pray, ‘…… Let there be light and there was light…’ O boy, na so people burst laugh. Dem tell am to come pray, instead my guy wan create heaven and earth o.
2.    One guy go drink, he come dey drunk. Na so he late go one meeting. Being that the guy late, dem come call am to say closing prayers. Dem nor know say the guy dey drunk. Na so drunkard stagger get up. ‘Hmmm… hmmm… Baba God, please, help us with another round… round of… bear, sorry, blessings…’
3.    One guy nor dey go church, dem ask the guy to pray for one public function, na so the guy stand up… ‘O God, good morning, sorry, good afternoon…’ people come dey laugh. Somebody say, ‘dem tell you say this time na afternoon for heaven?’


P.S. nor be everybody wen you see, you go tell, ‘pray for us’; abeg, make you nor collect bad thing wen nor be your own ooo…

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