Jokes in Pidgin English (43) – Small money get value!

These days ATM machines get wahala. Na long long queues people dey stand now to collect. I nor know why Naija ATM machine na jagbajagba (e don spoil) unlike before. If you see queue for ATM now you go run. It’s even faster to withdraw money inside bank than to use ATM card.

That is why these days if you nor get better money to withdraw, nor go ATM ooo. These days, na big embarrassment to go withdraw money for ATM. Because as you dey withdraw, thousands are behind you waiting for their turn. If na shekele (small) money you collect, them go know. Don’t advertise your poverty.

E get one day, I go one ATM machine. As we dey wait one guy for front withdraw 1,000 naira. The guy for my back say, ‘Na because of 1K make you dey waste our time here.’ Hmmm… 1K na small money abi?

Another day, I go ATM, one guy come meet me say, ‘Bros, the machine dey give 500 naira?’ I answer: ‘I nor sure. Na mostly one one thousand naira note, the machine dey release.’ The guy say, ‘Me, na just 500naira I wan withdraw.’ I pity the guy that day. I wish I hold money that day, maybe I for give am a helping hand. But on that day, what I wanted to withdraw has been calibrated with ruler and pencil. Any shortage na wahala. My people, if 1K nor get value, see somebody wen come withdraw 500naira.

If you get small amount for your account, nor go ATM to withdraw am ooo. If you do, I nor dey there. He get one time like that things happen. I say make I go clear one of my accounts. When I reach the ATM, do every, press withdraw, the machine do like say e wan pay. But money nor come out. Before I say Jack, I receive text message say I don withdraw and my account is red. O boy, nor be small something. It took me a lot to get that money back. Word for the wise: If you need money for something important and urgent: enter bank, go to the cashier and collect the money. If you depend on ATM, you go hear wa'in.

Still on the story, if you wan know if money get value, consider the following:

If you wan know if 5naira get value, enter Molue commercial bus for Lagos and make your money dey short of 5naira, na then you go know wetin dey!

If you wan know the value of 20naira, make pocket picker pick your pocket and carry all your money and the you just need 20naira to take transport home. Na so for Benin that year, them pocket pick all my money for Ring Road. O boy, no money to take transport of 20naira then back to Ugbowo. Na beg I beg one guy wen I don buy books from before. Before the guy agree to give me 20bucks, na die. Thank God I had my ID that day. If not na suffer I for suffer.

If you wan know the value of 2naira 50K, ask the madame wen dey photocopy.

If you wan know the value of one one naira coins, ask the beggar on the streets or road junction.

No matter how small the money is, somebody somehow somewhere knows the value. Sometimes in life, when you get, you may not know the value of small money until circumstances present you with a hard choice. Na so I see am, take care!