Alert/Alarm!
There was this very rich man who built a big mansion and resort
in a remote but picturesque environment. He had installed an alarm/alert system
all over the mansion. In the front entrance there were cameras with video
feeds going into a computer software program that has facial recognition
capabilities. If he had guests, the faces of the guests are fed into the system
for easy recognition.
So, for the fun of it, if he received unexpected guests, the
system was designed to send an appropriate signal. The signal depends on how
beautiful or ugly the face is: beautiful/handsome face gets a sweat melody
while an ugly face gets a harsh warning message.
One of the man’s friends paid him a visit. The friend was
curious. He wanted to find out the signals sent for previous guests.
‘Chief, when you received Genevieve (beautiful actress), what
was the signal?’
‘Cool Celine Dion music. Lovely.’
‘What about Donald Duke (handsome politician)?’
‘Cool Lionel Richie track played.’
‘What about Weird MC (ugly musician)?
‘We heard harsh sounds: Please, be advised, there is a possible
intruder approaching.’
‘Really…! What about Adams Oshiomhole (ugly politician)?’
‘We heard: Please, be advised a militant on a khaki outfit is
approaching the perimeter.’
‘Really, what about Taribo West and Baba (wowo squared)?’
‘Well, the system crashed. We battled for months to fix it.
Before it crashed, it kept sounding a very loud warning: This is an emergency.
Unidentifiable aliens are on the approach. This system is going
into lock-down. I repeat: Lock-down Lock-down
This is not a drill.’
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