Wednesday, 30 January 2013

Jokes in Pidgin English (31) – ‘By force Inaugural lecture!’



E get one student those days wen things dey hard for school. No money. No foodstuff. Em come go see one of him brosses for help. This bross come take my guy sit down. Bross come start:
‘Youths of nowadays! You people are having it easy now. In our days, we worked hard to go to school. We go to the farm to plant, weed and harvest before we get school fees. We go to the river to catch fish for sale (on and on with ancient personal history)…..
These days, you guys don’t want to do anything. You ask for everything. Why can’t you look for a part-time job to do? You can save some money and start your own small business. You can…. (on and on with heroic business ideals).
You see. You are like a son to me. I know things are difficult but I must tell you the truth. Things are not easy. We have to be humble. We need to be hard-working and industrious. You have to be wise... (on and on with the great lessons of life)
I’m not finding it easy too. My child just finished from so and so. My wife has been ill. My business is not going well as before (on and on with recent personal history.)

My guy dey form listening and nodding as if the gist dey sweet am. Meanwhile, the guy mind dey boil. He dey reason for em mind since:
‘Na waooo. When this lecture go end na? This na by force Inaugural Lecture o. Na small money wen I ask you make you dey give me all this history and lessons. Bros abeg, summarize and conclude make I dey go, I dey hurry. Instead of you to say no money, you dey here dey blow grammer since morning. Shuoo. I nor get money, na quarrel! If I need history, I go carry history book read. If I need lessons in life, I go read Proverbs and other inspirational books. Na waoo. Money good o. If money really dey now, we nor go get time for this tales my moonlight ooo. Well, e go better.’

Bross continue: ‘as I was saying (and on and on it went). Hey, John, John, are you sleeping? You must be tired.’
My guy: ‘yes Bross... I need to go home and rest.’

Thanks for listening! The End!

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