I Love Pidgin English Talk Talk (6)

Funny things wen man don see - 419 Part 2.

You remember those days wen banks never full everywhere. No ATM that time. If you wan withdraw money from bank, you must go the branch of the bank where you take open the account, to withdraw the money. That time wen I dey school for Benin, and I open account for Delta. So if I wan collect money from my account, I go carry my passbook, travel go Delta State, withdraw the money, enter motor come back to Benin. Person go travel about 50km just to withdraw money. After some time I come open account for Benin, but na Akpakpava Road na’em the Branch of the bank dey and me dey Ugbowo. So if I wan withdraw money, I go take motor go Ring Road, enter another motor go Akpakpava Road. Now wen I remember those days and now wen banks and ATM don full everywhere I go dey laugh.

 

Na so, one day I comot from school go Akpakpava go withdraw money. Wen I withdraw finish, I enter Ring Road motor. Wen I drop from Ring Road, I come dey trek go where I go enter Ugbowo motor Park. Ring Road for Benin don teach me lesson before. E get one night for Ring Road wen dem pocket-pick the whole money wen dey my pocket. Na beg I beg before I see 20naira enter Ugbowo motor. I nor know how the person take pick my pocket. I only remember say I dey think wetin I go use my money buy wen somebody use body jam me. I sure say na that guy pick my pocket. From that night, anytime I enter Ring Road I dey dey vigilant.

 

So on that day wen I dey talk about b4, me and my money wen I withdraw from bank, come dey trek thru Ring Road. Na’em one man use e body jam me. As d guy jam me, I quickly put hand for my pocket, palpate the money wen I carry. Wen I see say the thing dey intact, na so I turn look the man wen jam me. D man dey say, ‘eh, you nor dey look where u dey go.’ See me see wahala, person wen use body jam me, na em still dey claim right. Na’im I bone d guy, dey waka my own dey go. As I waka small, one woman wen carry pickin for back come tap me, ‘go tell am sorry’. Shuooooo! The woman wen carry pikin dey tell me say make I go tell the man wen jam me sorry. O boy, na den I know say na 419 people. Fear catch me. How this people take know say I carry money 4 pocket. O boy, na so I waka quick quick comot from there before I come go forget myself. 419 people, the time wen dem dey take plan all their strategy, e nor reach dem to find better work?