Jokes in Pidgin English (25)

Funny things wen man don see – Stammerer!
Those days wen you hear ‘kpa!’ (a very loud sound), you go relax, maybe na tire burst. Those days wen you hear, ‘kpa kpa!’, you go relax, maybe na knock-out (fireworks). At that time, if you hear ‘kpa kpa kpa!’ you fit worry small, maybe na area boys (thieves) wen dey look for chop money when men dey sleep. O boy, these days, wen you hear ‘kpa!’, na 100 metres race men dey take, you nor wan know wether na tire burst, whether na knock-out or area boys. Nowadays all men dey assume the worst. Sometime ago, I go one market, I nor hear anything ooo, but wen I see men dey run, I join dem run. Somebody ask me wetin happen, I nor know. In short, no time to ask question, just dey run dey go. That is why, this time na bad time to be stammerer. Before you go ask wetin dey happen, all men don run leave you.

Just imagine this! Stammerer go market go buy some things. As he carry the heavy load wen he buy, he see people dey run. He dey reason, these many things wen em buy, he nor go fit carry them run. On the other hand, he nor go fit run leave them just like that. So he come say make he ask wetin dey happen so that he go decide wether na to leave the things begin run. Na so stammerer stand. People dey run pass am. ‘we… we... we... we...’, no answer. Stammerer wan try ask, ‘wetin dey happen?’ Na so he stand there, ‘we… we... we... we...’ People dey wonder why dis guy stand and other people dey run, abi na Western journalist he be? Na Western journalist go see people dey run, he go waka go see wetin dey happen. Na so stammerer stand with em load, ‘we… we… we...' After about 10mins, stammerer hear, ‘kpa kpa kpa kpokpokpokpo’ (very loud, continuous sounds), stammerer shout, ‘kweke!’ He throwaway em load begin run. The guy see strong thing that day!