Once upon a time, there was John going out with Mary.
Things nor work out as planned, so dem come separate/break-up. Later later,
Mary come enter another relationship with another person. Na so she pick phone
call John: ‘Hello, John, I've entered a new relationship.’
When she dey engaged, she call John again, ‘Hello
John, please rejoice with me, oh. I’m engaged to Peter.’
When the marriage date reach, she call John: ‘Johnny
Johnny, I’m getting married, oh.’
When she born her first child: ‘John, I’ve put to
birth.’
When the pikin begin waka: ‘Johneee, Junior has
started walking.’
My people, why is John receiving regular updates from
his ex? Wetin dey her mind true true: ‘John, see you na. Wen you leave me that
time, you think say my own nor go better, abi?. See me naaaaaaaaaa. I don engage. I don
marry. I don born. My own don better.’
All this while, John nor complain. So, later later,
things come dey happen for John side, he come decide to retaliate:
‘Hello Mary, how far now? I don travel out oh.’
‘Hello, Marianno, how Junior? I don marry one
whiteeee. Check Facebook you go see the pictures.’
‘Hello, Mary Mary, I don born whiteeee. Na girl, so I
call am Maria-bet.’
‘Hello, Mary. I dey come Naija next month. I go like
take my family come visit you.’
Mary reply: ‘Wetin, wetin. Na only u first travel
out. Which one be this one na. Abeg, nor call me again. You dey disturb me.’
John: ‘Mary, nor vex. Calm down now… hello… hello…hello
(the number you are calling is switched off..... The number you are calling no
longer exist in our network. Please, check your number and dial again...)
End of tory!
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