Reflections (3) - “It can't happen to me! The ‘me’ in me is Special.”

In Nigeria, when we build a house, we don't add a fire escape to the plan. Though people lose their lives everyday due to fire outbreaks and their inability to escape from burning houses, and some are afraid of the added cost, others reason, 'It can't happen to me', so emergency plans are not made. Also in Nigeria, many who can afford to, don’t save for personal and family emergencies. Though lives are lost because of inability of family members to pay for needed healthcare and other unfortunate events, many reason, ‘It can’t happen to me.’ Thus a family head will not save for tomorrow. A man has a well-paying job or business. The money flows like water. Will he save for his family? Will he open a trust fund to care for his kids when they are of age? Will he write a will that will ensure his family is well catered for even when he’s gone? Or will he act like the typical Nigerian that will go on to marry more wives and have more children, squandering his money on the pleasures life can offer, all the while telling himself, ‘The money will keep coming, nothing bad can happen to me’ ? A man knows about the dangers of HIV, STIs, unwanted pregnancies and the like, but he sleeps around with no protection. Even though he’s seen others suffer as a result, he’s confident, ‘It can’t happen to me!’ A man has exams. He puts in his little bit. Even though many have failed that exam before, he reasons, “I can’t fail. Failure is not my portion. The ‘me’ in me is special”. All these scenarios beg the following questions: those of us alive today, are we more special than those who didn’t make it to this day? Are we better, more righteous or more faithful than those who’ve been victims of the unfortunate events of yesterday? What’s the basis of the ‘me-too-special’ attitude? If these thoughts or actions are based on faith or religious beliefs, why don’t we act like others who practice same faith abroad? Or is it that our brand of faith is special too?

Let me start by saying that as humans created in the image of God, intelligent beings with the free will of choice, we are special. Every human being is unique and our bodies give eloquent testimony to our Creator. In the same light, in His wisdom, God created us in such a way that we are dependent on other things and other people. We depend on the air we breathe, the water we drink, the food we eat and we depend on others to provide our needs because we can’t do it all. Imagine how the world would be like if we don’t depend on anything or anyone to survive. Thus, the fact that we are dependent makes us amenable to virtuous qualities like love, humility, honesty, wisdom, etc. In a sense, our limitations bestow on us endearing qualities. Yes we are special but also in a loving way we are limited. One of God’s most endearing qualities is wisdom. We who are created in his image have the capacity to cultivate and to demonstrate wisdom. The Online Free Dictionary by Farlex defines wisdom, amongst other things, as “1. The ability to discern or judge what is true, right, or lasting; insight. 2. Common sense; good judgment. 3. a. The sum of learning through the ages; knowledge. b. Wise teachings of the ancient sages. 4. A wise outlook, plan, or course of action.” My emphasis is on point 4, wisdom entails having a wise outlook, plan or course of action, that is, wisdom involves making good plans, planning for the future, preparing for emergencies and uncertainties and things of that sort. The scriptures states in Ecclesiastes. 9: 11,12 (NIV, 1984) , “I have seen something else under the sun: The race is not to the swift or the battle to the strong, nor does food come to the wise or wealth to the brilliant or favor to the learned; but time and chance happen to them all. Moreover, no man knows when his hour will come: As fish are caught in a cruel net, or birds are taken in a snare, so men are trapped by evil times that fall unexpectedly upon them.” This is the fate of everyman, good or bad. While a good conduct may help prolong our lives and keep us safe from trouble, ultimately it’s not up to us to decide our longevity or the final outcome of our endeavours. Though we can’t help the inevitability of some events in our lives, there is something we all can do: while hoping for the best, prepare for the worst. Prepare for tomorrow. Save for tomorrow. Make plans for tomorrow. Remember, the scriptures says in Prov. 27:11, “Be wise, my son”.

Now, I know many would challenge my earlier sentiments with other scriptures or reasoning. 1 Peter 2:9 (NIV 1984) states, ‘You are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God.’ Note that these people are special to God; in relation to God they are unique. Yet they suffer the same fate as man, so from man’s point of view, they are no different. I’m not going into whom God chooses today. But let’s take a look at those whom God chose in the past. Apostle Peter was chosen but while he was alive on earth, he suffered the ills that befell other men and he was killed. Apostle Paul was chosen but he suffered too and was also killed. We know of people who maintain a righteous course of life and still became victims of bitter occurrences. Remember Job. Don’t get me wrong, their lives were filled with spiritual riches and meaning, but in the eyes of men, their fate was no different. Yes, granted, your beliefs and worship can fill your life with love and meaning but that does not except you from the ills of this life. To God we may be special yet in this life we are exposed and suffer the misfortunes of living. It’s not a matter of if but when. So we prepare, so we plan and so we save for the raining day.

Don’t mistake spiritual riches and fulfillment with material riches or physical possessions. One who has a close relationship with his maker is rich toward God. It matters not whether he is rich or poor, famous or unknown, highly educated or not. There are certain fates that befall all men: we get sick, we grow old, we get exhausted, accidents happen, we fall victim to evil plots, and we die. This happens whether we are righteous or unrighteous, good or bad, faithful or unfaithful. Yes, there are things we can control and there things that are completely out of our control. To humbly acknowledge these realities and to be wise in our ways is not lack of faith; it’s an act of wisdom. True faith is not gullible. Don’t mistake a well balanced faith as espoused in the bible with the positive psychology of men. Our faith in God will not necessarily shield us from bodily harm but it will surely help us cope with what life throws our way and it will help us look at the bigger picture: there is a reward for an unyielding faith. 1. Cor. 10:13 (English Standard Version, 2001) states, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.” Note that the scriptures did not say that one who’s faithful to God is free of trials or temptations but God will help us endure it. And God has said, “Be wise, my son”.

In the nation of Israel, men were punished who endangered the lives of others. When you build a roof, you put a parapet. You don’t say, ‘It can’t happen to me’. When you don’t save and prepare for uncertainties and emergencies and thus risk the lives of those depending on you, please remember 1 Tim. 5:8(NIV), “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever”. When you don’t prepare for your exams and expect to pass anyway because you are special, remember Prov. 6:6, “Go to the ant, consider its ways and be wise!” When you choose to be reckless, feeling that no harm can come your way, remember, “Shrewd is the one that has seen the calamity and proceeds to conceal himself, but the inexperienced have passed along and must suffer the penalty.”- Prov. 22:3 (New World Translation)

Very often when bad things happen to us, we say, ‘Why me?’ It’s a genuinely innocent question asked in the sheer moment of grief. But think carefully about it. Bad things happen to people everyday. When we hear them, we don’t give it much thought, rightly so because we don’t want to get weighed down with sadness; bad things happen too often. Nevertheless, let’s face it. When you say, ‘Why me?’ are you not actually saying, ‘Why not him or her? Why not Mr. A? Why not Mrs. B? ’ Maybe, the best question is, ‘Why? Why did it happen in the first place? Why did it happen at all?’ In the scriptures, God answers the why. For us individuals, He provides comfort and hope. I pray may we never get to ask the sad bitter questions. When we ever get to ask, may He provide the answers!

Finally, don’t be discouraged that bad things happen to good people. Remember for every good deed there is a reward and no bad deed will forever go unpunished. To borrow the words of Dele Giwa, "No evil deed can go unpunished. Any evil done by man to man will be redressed, if not now, then certainly later, if not by man, then certainly by God, for the victory of evil over good can only be temporary”. The mills of justice grind slowly but surely. Be good, but don’t sit around for a reward; be humble, don’t brag about your good. “So YOU, also, when YOU have done all the things assigned to YOU, say, ‘We are good-for-nothing slaves. What we have done is what we ought to have done.’”- Luke 17:10 (New World Translation). Remember, life is a gift. We did not earn it. Ultimately, it’s not up to us to declare ourselves, ‘untouchables’. It’s by Jehovah’ Grace we have life and it is by His Grace we shall keep living.

To Jehovah be the Glory!