Jokes in Pidgin (29) – Olodo (Dullard) Squared and Unlimited!

Those days for school, he get one lecturer when like this word, ‘Olodo.’ It means person when nor know book or dullard (person when dull finish). This lecturer, if he dey teach and he ask student question, if the student nor get the answer, he go ask the student to stand, face the class and say: ‘I am Olodo.’ Epic humiliation! Well, that na small olodo. If you see correct olodo, you go bow.

 

For secondary school, he get one big boy when be olodo squared. This guy enter exam hall, he nor read. As the exam dey go on, he come sight one of em friends when dey hide dey use one textbook do expo. He come tell em friend to give am the book. When olodo collect book, he come ask: ‘Guy, where I go take start; where I go take stop.’ The guy wan Xerox the book (photocopy and paste).

 

E get one olodo for another school. The guy come from a very rich home. A day to exam, he call the teacher wen go set the exam.

Student: Bros, Bros… Which way? How the exam go be na?

Teacher: Hope you are reading. The questions are going to be very tough.

Student: Master Master… to talk truth, I never read oh. How you go take help me na? Just name your price.

Teacher: That is rude and inappropriate.

Student: Master, cool down na. I hear say you don give Janet some expo. I know say Janet na your girlfriend. Abeg, wetin you get for your boy. I go give you 20K (20,000naira) in advance until I see the result.

Teacher: Well… well… I’m just trying to help you, oh. Read assignment number 5, 12, 17, 29 and 33.

Student: Master, master… all those your long long assignment self. Abeg, summarize the answers in small microchips (paper clips). I go come your house come collect the answer. I go bring the dough (money).

 

Olodo wan write JAMB exam. He come dey look for person wen go impersonate am for the exam. He come meet one guy wen dey university. He feel say na everybody wen dey university know book. He say make the university guy impersonate am. Unfortunately, the university guy na Olodo unlimited. Na expo Olodo unlimited take pass enter university. So, exam day, Olodo unlimited come carry HB pencil: aaaaaaaaaa… bbbbbbbbbb… cccccccccccc…

ededededededede… facafacafacade…. bacabacabacabacabacabaca (e be like say na Barca fan!)… Na so Olodo unlimited dey shade toxic answers. When JAMB release results, Olodo’s result was seized. Olodo went to meet Olodo unlimited.

Olodo unlimited said: ‘Don’t mind JAMB, the result was seized because I answered too many questions correctly.’

Olodo: ‘Please, write the answers for me. Let me use it for the next exam. By dat time, I nor go answer all of them correctly. I go fail some.’

Olodo unlimited: ‘Go look for the JAMB past questions and answer. Copy that of last year. Na last year question dem go take set next year exam.’

Olodo: ‘Bros, thank you well well. You too much!’

Olodo Unlimited: ‘Where my balance?’

Olodo: ‘When I pass next year exam based on your advice, I go double the balance for you. If not, you go return the money wen I give you.’