Jokes in Pidgin English (5) - Keeping Space!

Some people like to keep space. Dem nor dey like to wait for line or queue. “Please, I’m behind you.” “This is my space, I came before you.” Shuooo! Everywhere, dem go keep space.
For school, dem go keep sit for class.
For work place, dem go keep space.
For public bus, dem go keep sit.
In the bank, dem go keep space, ‘Please, I’m behind you.’ One day, I go bank. I dey queue, one guy come, ‘Are u d last on d line? Please, I’m behind you.’ Later, one lady come, ‘Are u d last person on d line?’ ‘No, someone is behind me.’ ‘ OK, please, I’m behind d person that is behind you.’ I keep quiet, I nor talk. I don dey vex inside. Na so one guy come, ‘Are you d last person on the line?’ ‘No, two persons are behind me.’ ‘ OK, I’m behind them. Please, I’m coming.’ Na so I provoke, ‘Hello, what do you take me for? Do I look like a security man? I came here to make bank transactions, not to keep spaces for people. I don’t care whether u are behind me or not.’ See me see wahala. Wen u small, na bad thing? Dem just wan use me do security man. I nor blame dem.
Even in d Hospital, patients dey keep space. When dem come back, na quarrel, ‘I came b4 u. I was standing like dis, doing like dis wen u came.’ Shuoo, why can’t people just stay in one place, for goodness sake!

D one wen dey pain me pass na relationships. Some people dey keep space for relationship. One guy see one fine girl wen em like. He come talk to d girl. D girl like d guy but she say, ‘There are two other guys who are interested in me.’ Dis guy say, ‘No problem, just keep me in mind, if things doesn’t work out with dem, I’m next in line.’ Shuoooo… Next in line. In other words, I’m behind d first two guys. How u call dat one, nor be space dis guy dey keep so? Cheeei. Me, I nor get time for 'smell smell', what’s mine is mine. I nor dey keep space. Time and life is too short to be spent in keep ‘spaces’.

For some, it’s a habit. They will never stay on the line. They also carry this attitude into other facets of their life. Granted, there are times when we can’t afford to stand or wait in a long queue, but it shouldn’t be all the time and at every instance. I’m just saying sha… What do I know?